The Way Down
by PirateCaptainArthur
Summary: Something terrible has happened in Ikebukuro. The monster of the city has disappeared, maybe forever. Summary and rating might change later, eventually Shizaya.
1. Silence

There was just too quiet. And still, people were talking more than ever. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong. And something was missing. Something important. Or someone. The city was definitely not the same.

Crimson red eyes went from one person to the other, searching through the crowd to find what or who was missing. The small voices between everyone was almost too much whisper for this man to understand. He stood completely still, frozen to listen very carefully to the large crowd of people, listening to their every whispering word that came out of their mouths.

"Heiwajima..."

Crimson red eyes locked on a group of students standing not far away in a split second, when that one word made it through to him. He now focused completely on those students, blocking everyone else's voices out of his mind, listening as careful as possible to whatever the students said to each other.

The whisper from everyone else made it almost impossible to hear every single word. He only caught a few words clear enough but those words were enough for him to create a meaning of what they were talking about.

"Dead..."

Crimson red eyes widened in a split second, his heart making a sound, a sound he hoped he was the only one to hear. He didn't realize it, he didn't even think about it. He just did it. His legs moved on their own, slowly moving closer to the group of students. He tried to stay calm, tried to return to the person people knew him as; Orihara Izaya, the informant and the flea.

The student's words became clearer as he approached them slowly.

"Heiwajima Shizuo?"

The boy sounded surprised as he spoke, but his surprise was soon taken over by an even bigger one, when he laid eyes on the raven haired informant slowly approaching him and his group of fellow students. He tried talking but his mouth went dry and his mind went blank in a split second, making him unable to utter a single word to warn his friends. Instead, he just stared terrified at the man not far away, making the other students curious in a split second and making them turn to look at whatever made their friend so speechless themselves.

They all stuttered, trying to find words when their eyes laid on the raven haired informant now standing in front of them, the curiosity showing in the man's entire face.

"Ne, you caught my attention. All I'm asking for is information about whatever happened to Heiwajima Shizuo. Don't worry; I will pay you."

The wide Cheshire smirk spread slowly across the known informant, making him look as sneaky as ever. This always happened whenever he found something extremely interesting, something that made him lock all his attention to that subject. It was only a few things that made him do that. But one thing was sure; when it was about the monster of Ikebukuro, he would always be interested.

One of the braver boys in the group stepped forward, pulling enough courage to himself to actually speak loud enough, so his voice wouldn't drown in all other citizen's. The city was noisy, way more noisy than it had ever been and yet... it was so quiet.

"How much will you pay us for our information?"

The fear in his voice was obvious, making the smirk on Izaya's face grow wider. It was almost fun and he almost forgot how important this actually was to him. Moving his hand down the one pocket on the fur coat, he pulled his wallet up and quickly searched through to find how many money he was willing to give for the information. He handed the money, after finding enough, to the boy, who was brave enough to speak. His surprised look in his face didn't make the informant's smirk grow wider. No, it had the opposite affect. It faded.

"If that is enough, I would like to have my part of the deal. Information please. Now. I'm a busy man."

The boy quickly moved the money into his pocket and nodded. He swallowed thickly and prepared to tell everything he knew. It was, after all, more money than he ever had had in his entire life.

"Well all we know is that Heiwajima hasn't been seen outside for pretty much a week now. People are saying he's been shot and may or may not be dead. We don't know much else, other than he's probably dead."

Izaya froze after the word 'dead'. That was all information he got? That the great Heiwajima Shizuo _might_ be dead? Izaya knew him better than anyone and he knew he couldn't die from only being shot. But since the monster hadn't been seen outside for a week, something definitely had to be wrong. Something horrible.

Without thanking them or even say anything else to the students, he turned on his heels and quickly walked in another direction. His heart was beating like mad, his crimson red eyes widened just a bit as he walked down the streets of Ikebukuro, his legs shaking slightly. Why was this bothering him so much? It wasn't like he liked the man. No, in fact he hated him more than ever. That man wasn't human; he was a damn monster that was never supposed to exist. Then why the hell was this bothering him so much?

Finally reaching his destination, he quickly knocked on the door, several times to make sure the people inside would have heard it. Why was he shaking? Why did he feel this way? It was only a god damn rumor and he was still nervous? Tch... this was really not like him, not at all like him.

The door finally opened after what felt like forever and revealed the brown haired and glass wearing underground doctor, Kishitani Shinra. The doctor didn't open the door completely, keeping it just open enough for his head to peep out and look at the informant. A wide and cheerful smile tried to spread across his face, but his face showed how nervous and somewhat sad he was.

"Ah, Izaya-kun. What brings you here?"

The suspicion was already build up around the man, making Izaya think he had some kind of big secret hidden. Which only made him interested, his crimson red eyes narrowing slightly as he took a step forward, the door slowly closing just a little bit, signalizing he wasn't allowed to enter.

"Shinra~ I simply wanted to visit my old friend. And also..." His expression quickly turned serious, making a few sweat drops appear on the man's forehead "...you know something about what happened to Shizu-chan. I've asked around and apparently he's been shot. So now, I want to know exactly what happened and you, my friend, are going to tell me everything. Down to last piece of information."

Shinra swallowed thickly. He had to lie to the man. He had to keep everything a secret. But either way he had to let the man inside. Letting a deep sigh pass his lips, he finally opened the door to let the impatient informant inside. But no matter what, he couldn't let the man know the truth.

Izaya entered within a second. His curiosity had awakened and he was insanely curious. And for some reason... worried. It was so weird and he didn't feel right. He gave the first room a quick looking. Empty. He then turned and looked at the underground doctor, giving him a serious look.

"Now then... Tell me everything and don't let out any details. I want to know everything."

Shinra hesitated for just a moment before he quickly walked into the living room instead, taking longer and quicker steps as he passed the patient rooms and making sure the informant would follow him all the way. He forced the raven to sit down on the couch and fixed his glasses just shortly, before he did the same; sat down on the couch next to the raven haired informant.

"Okay fine. I will tell you everything I can." He paused, collecting his hands in his lap and turned to look seriously at the informant. "Yes, it is true that Shizuo-san was shot. It happened 6 days ago and since then no one has seen him outside. Now, I don't know who shot him or where but I do know he has to be either extremely wounded or... gone, since he hasn't been outside. But that is all I know. I don't know anything else."

Of course he was lying about the last thing. He knew much more. In fact, he knew everything. But he couldn't tell the whole truth to anyone; especially not to this man.

Izaya listened carefully, taking note of everything the man said in his mind. There had to be more than that. It just couldn't be true that no one knew anything about what happened to the monster of the city. Someone had to have been digging deeper or someone had to know everything. Someone like Shinra.

"Shinra... is that really everything you know? I can feel you're keeping something a secret and I want to know what it is. Please tell me. I'm even willing to pay you for your information. I just really want to know everything."

"Why?"

Izaya froze. The question was bound to be asked. But he didn't know the answer. Why did he want to know? Of course, he could always use the excuse "Because I'm an informant and it's my job to know everything about everything and everyone". And so, he used that excuse, saying it with as much of a convincing tone as possible.

Shinra sighed and lowered his heard, a light from the window making his glasses almost turn white. Of course he had to expect that answer.

"I'm sorry, Izaya-kun, but I'm afraid I can't tell you."

Izaya stood up quickly, making the man jump in surprise. He knew the underground doctor wouldn't take money if he offered him any so it was just not worth a shot. He couldn't get any other information... right now. He could come back and investigate himself. Yes. That would be worth a shot.

"Fine. If you won't tell me, I will just leave. But I will come back and bother you until you tell me everything you know."

And by that he turned and quickly walked out of the living room and moved towards the exit. But something caught his attention when he passed one of the few patient rooms. The door was just slightly closed, leaving him to be able to just quickly look inside. He stopped right in front of the door and looked inside, his crimson eyes searching for whatever caught his attention.

And that was when he saw it. Something familiarly blonde...

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><p><strong>AN: I know, I know; I should really stop making new stories. I just had this story in my head and I have pretty much the entire story from start to end in my head... sort of. Anyway; please review and tell me what you think? ;3**


	2. Waiting

The silence didn't end. Time just slowly snailed by as he stood there, crimson red eyes locked to the small opening in the door and locked at the familiar blonde thing. Everything was just quiet. Nothing moved, nothing happened. His feet wouldn't move, his body wouldn't allow him to walk away. The only thing that kept moving in his thin and pale body was his heart, his heart that was beating faster than he thought something this small would make it. It was horrible. Orihara Izaya did not freeze over just the sight of something that seemed familiar. He just did not. It wasn't right.

He ordered his body to move, even if it was just a little bit. He wanted to feel it could move and nothing was wrong. But even when his brain ordered his limps to move, nothing happened. He just continued to stand there in the hallway, frozen in front of the slightly closed door with the familiar blonde. It shouldn't bother him this much. It just shouldn't!

A light sigh passed the underground doctor's lips and he lowered his head. He knew he couldn't keep everything a secret for very long. Especially when the man he was keeping it from was an informant, who wanted to know everything about everything and everyone. It was just not possible to keep it a secret for ever. Some day the man had to find out. All he could do, was to keep him from it for as long as he could, keep him from the horrible secret.

Thinking the informant had already left even though he didn't hear a door shut, Shinra finally pulled himself up to stand. He had to go check up on the only patient he had. The patient took all his time and he didn't care. As long as he kept him alive and away from everyone, who might end up hurting him, everything would be fine.

As he walked towards the hallway with the few patient rooms, he could slightly hear the heart monitor beeping slowly. Guess he hadn't closed the door completely. The second he entered the hallway, his eyes was locked on the raven standing in front of the door, staring into the room through the small opening. Oh no...

"Izaya-kun! I thought you left already?"

He tried to sound as calm as he always was but he knew the truth about the man inside that room might have been spotted by the informant. No, it was no might. It was definitely what had happened. If he knew the informant well enough, and he did, the man would already have guessed who was lying inside the room, only being kept alive by a machine.

Izaya almost jumped in surprise by hearing the voice. He was roughly pulled back to reality, forced to twirl around and face the underground doctor. His lips slowly curled up in a slight Cheshire like smirk, making it a facade, a mask to how surprised and for some reason worried he actually was. He had found out who it was in there and he had no idea what the hell the man was doing. If the man was dead or alive was just one of his thousands of question running around in his head.

"Shinra, I can't just leave when something catches my attention. And now I'm just curious to know, why the hell you lied to me? You know a lot more about what happened to Shizu-chan, don't you? Don't tell me you don't, because I can recognize the monster of Ikebukuro miles away and that, in that room," he pointed to the door before he began talking again," is definitely Shizu-chan. So why don't you just go ahead and start talking, Shinra."

The entire hallway was filled with silence for a few moments, the only thing that could be heard was the small beeping sound coming from the patient room, that the informant pointed to. Lowering his head again, Shinra looked down at his own shoes and let his hands slide down into the pockets of the lab coat he was wearing.

"Okay, fine." He sighed shortly before he finally started to tell the informant the truth. "Shizuo-kun was shot 6 days ago in an alleyway not far from here. I have no idea who it was, but whoever it was had to be a professional to shoot this good. But you already know that."

"Wait wait... Shizu-chan has been shot before. It won't kill him."

Izaya started to feel that feeling again; worried. It was the monster, damn it. The man he hated most of all. He wanted him gone then why the hell did he feel this way? It was just not right. Something was wrong. Sure it would be boring without his monster to bother all the time, but he would never miss him. Never.

"Yes I know. I was the one to take the bullets out. He was barely hurt then. However this time is different. The bullet went in right under his heart and has damaged it. It's a miracle he's still alive. If he had been normal, he would have died on the spot. But I doubt he will stay alive for much longer, since he hasn't woken up yet. It's been 6 days and when it's been a week... I'm afraid I would have to pull the plug."

Shinra sighed and lowered his head again after he had been looking at the raven. He knew what it meant if he pulled the plug. He would end the monster's life. If it was just the machine that held him alive, that was. If not, the man might wake up on his own soon.

Crimson red eyes widened at those words. If the monster didn't wake up before the next day... the underground doctor would actually pull the plug and end his life? Izaya's hands went into tight fists, his heart beating faster as he repeated the doctor's words inside his head. It couldn't be true. If it was, he wouldn't believe it. That monster couldn't die from something so simple. Of course, he could care less. He hated the man and the man hated him.

Even if he wanted to say something, anything, no words left his lips, no sound came from him. He just stood there, speechless and unable to speak. He hated this situation, hated how he couldn't find any words to say. And it was all the monster's fault. It was his fault it all. His fault that he now couldn't speak, his fault he couldn't find words to say and his fault... that he felt worried for some reason and had no idea what. It was... disgusting to feel this way towards a man he hated so damn much and just wanted to get rid off – as fast as possible. He would rather have the man die than stay plugged to a machine. But something in him just would not let him tell the doctor to pull the plug. Something in him wanted to keep this monster alive. And it was very strange.

"Damn it..."

That was all he could come up with, before he turned around and rushed to the slightly opened door. He didn't wait to get permission to enter. He just roughly pushed the door open and walked into the room. The first thing he noticed made him stop after just a single step into his room. Crimson red eyes widened slowly once again, his face completely pale in just a split second at the sight.

Lying on the bed was Heiwajima Shizuo, the monster of Ikebukuro, the man who had been shot 6 days ago, the blonde who had caught the informant's attention right before leaving and the man everyone thought was dead. His mocha or honey like eyes were closed like he was sleeping. All the things anyone lying in a hospital bed would have attached to his arm, was attached to this man's. The heart monitor was standing next to the bed, sending a short beep at every heartbeat from the blonde. The rhythm was slow and not like it would be at a normal and alive person's. It was way too slow and the man looked nothing but dead. The pale skin, the white lips. Everything showed death. Everything except the heart monitor slowly beeping.

Crimson red eyes locked quickly on the pale and dead looking man lying on the bed. Izaya stared at him, his enemy. The man looked so vulnerable and nothing like the Shizuo he knew. He suddenly froze again, unable to move an inch away or towards the bed with the men. He couldn't move. He just stood there, watching the blonde. For a second he actually thought this was the end on their little game of chasing each other, trying to kill each other and the endless fights. But then he remembered who it was he was looking at. This was Heiwajima Shizuo, the monster of Ikebukuro. He wouldn't die of something so simple of being shot. It would take a lot more to kill this man.

Shinra didn't even try and stop the informant. He knew it was too late the second the man turned around. Instead of walking away and leaving the two alone, leaving the raven to get used to the vulnerable monster on the bed, he just slowly walked into the room and up to the informant, lightly placing a hand on the man's shoulder and sighed.

"I know it's strange to see him like this. I have tried everything to wake him up but nothing worked. I'm sorry, but I can't wake him up. He has to wake up by himself."

Izaya did what he always did when facing a situation like this, even though it was the first time ever seeing the monster like this: he laughed awkwardly, trying to hide how he really felt. He felt hurt, worried and another feeling he couldn't put a word or explanation on.

"Shinra... I would be much happier if he never woke up."

The underground doctor simply shook his head and let his hand slide from the informant's shoulder down into the pocket on the white lab coat, his eyes looking at the vulnerable monster lying on the bed through his glasses. It wasn't a sight you would see very often. It was the first time and probably the last. If he survived there would most likely be another situation like this. But if he didn't... there wouldn't.

"Whatever you say, Izaya-kun. I know I'm just that he is staying alive, holding on."

Sighing, Shinra turned around and took the few steps it took for him to stand in the doorway, before he turned his head and looked back at the informant, who hadn't moved an inch. He could see from behind, that Izaya felt opposite of what he said. You didn't need to be an expert to notice that.

"All we can do... is to wait."

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><p><strong>AN: I thank you a million times for your reviews, faves and alerts! It makes me so happy!**

**Reviews makes me want to write more~! ;3**


	3. Heartbeat

The only sound filling the entire room was the sound of the heart monitor slowly beeping once in a while. The rhythm was just way too slow, too slow for anyone to stay alive. Anyone normal that was. Crimson red eyes never left that pale face belonging to the monster of Ikebukuro. Never had he seen this man so vulnerable and it bothered him. It all felt so unreal; the fact that the monster had been hurt and almost killed and the feeling going around his stomach. He had to admit it sooner or later; Orihara Izaya was worried as hell.

He couldn't move, hadn't moved since the underground doctor had left the room, leaving him to stand alone and look shocked at the lifeless blonde. His one hand slowly clenched around some of the one sleeve from his jacket, the jacket with the fur on the edges and the jacket he never went outside without. How could he be so worried about someone he hated and wanted dead?

Swallowing thickly his body finally began moving. His legs slowly moved forward, taking small steps, one at a time until he stood next to the hospital bed with the lifeless monster. Crimson red eyes searched that pale face for signs of life, something that could show him that the man was in fact still alive. Or at least not dead. He didn't trust that heart monitor's beeping. He wanted proof and he would get them himself.

He couldn't allow himself to feel this way, worried and the fact that he could do nothing at all. He hesitated for just a moment, before he let his one pale and small hand brush a few of those bleached blonde locks away from the pale face. Why did he hate this so much?

"Why do you have to be so stupid, Shizu-chan...?"

It felt like so long, days maybe, but it had only been a few hours when Shinra entered the room again. He knocked slightly at the door, making the raven turn his head and look at him. The underground doctor could see from the distance that the informant hadn't moved at all. Sighing slightly he walked up to stand next to him.

He looked down at the lifeless man, noticing how the blonde locks were brushed away from his forehead. But he did nothing but smile at it. The informant could deny it as much as he wanted, but Shinra knew how worried he was. He could just sense it – from afar and from up close.

"Izaya-kun... I'll get you a chair so you won't have to stand up."

Izaya didn't answer, just stood there and pretended he didn't hear anything. Sighing, Shinra got the chair from one of the corners of the room and placed it behind the raven, who quickly sat down on it and scooted close to the bed. It surprised the doctor, seeing how worried the man was even though they hated each other.

Placing a finger on his nose, Shinra moved the glasses up the bridge and moved to stand next to the raven. He shortly looked down at the lifeless blonde but quickly turned his gaze to the other man sitting next to him.

"Izaya-kun, tell me something... Why do you even care about Shizuo-kun? You hate him, don't you? If you don't care about his condition and if you're only here to do something to shorten his life... I'm sorry, but I would have to throw you out. I can't have you do that."

A faint smile slowly curled up on the pale face, crimson red eyes never leaving that pale and lifeless face.

"What fun would that be, Shinra? It's no fun if there's no one like Shizu-chan to fight me and keep me from doing stuff like that. It's only fun if he's trying to stop me."

Izaya let a slight and awkward chuckle pass his lips, his one small hand resting on the edge of the bed, just a few inches away from the monster's hand with no movements at all. He hesitated for what felt like years, before he let his hand slowly slide along the sheets on the bed and up into the bigger hand resting on the bed, the grip around his small hand weak and how you would expect a grip from a lifeless and unconscious man. The informant knew how it would look to the doctor but right now... he could care less.

"And I do hate him. I hate him more than anyone else. He's a monster after all. I don't even know why this bothers me so much. It just does and it makes me feel so disgusting. It makes me feel all... human."

He said the last word with some sort of feeling, a feeling that told the underground doctor he hated feeling this way – the feeling of being human. He could almost hear that pleased smile slowly snailing across the doctor's face when he noticed how the informant's hand was holding the blonde's. But it didn't make him pull it away.

The pulse from the blonde he just slightly felt in his thumb followed the rhythm and sound that came beeping from the heart monitor. It was almost annoyingly slow. And when the beeping slowed even more, it only made the informant even more worried. Eyebrows came to furrow and crimson red eyes finally moved away from the pale face – only to glance up at the slowly beeping monitor and machine that kept the blonde alive for now.

Shinra sighed and lightly placed his one hand on the informant's slim shoulder. He had no idea what was going on between those two but at least he had gotten a clue, now that the raven had stayed and even held his so called enemy's hand.

"You don't seem like you hate him, though. I mean, you're still here even though you're free to leave any time and you even worry so much to the point where you can't even leave his side."

Izaya quickly laughed awkwardly, trying to cover how the doctor had found the truth exactly in such a short time. He just couldn't admit anything like that. How could he? He was Orihara Izaya, the informant and this monster's enemy. He couldn't be worried, not to anyone. Especially when it came to this man.

"Shinra, you're not making any sense right now. I'm only here because I want to see him die. And I really do hate him."

Even though he said such harsh words, they were all empty and filled with no emotions at all. It was one big lie and the underground doctor had a feeling of it. He was, after all, starting to believe that something else than just hate was between those two. At least from the raven's side. But it was just a thought.

"Whatever you say."

Shinra let a slight sigh pass his lips as his hand moved away from the slim shoulder. He stood silently next to the sitting raven, both staring down at the lifeless blonde. It was almost like they were waiting for any sort of sign showing that the man was still alive. But they got the complete opposite.

The only sound that filled the room was the slow beeping sound from the heart monitor. The beeping slowly went slower and slower, until it barely ever beeped. After just a few minutes, it stopped completely, a long and straight line showing on the screen. The beeping had come to a stop, only one last and long sound filled the room.

_Beeeeeeeeeeep_...

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><p><strong>AN**: No, this is not the end. There will be more chapters and I will soon start to write the next one.  
>Reviews makes me happy~! :3<p> 


	4. Waking

The waiting just like being killed very slowly. It felt like an eternity and like the time didn't move forward at all. Not a single sound was in the entire room. Everything was just quiet and silent. Not even if you listened very carefully could you hear what happened in the patient room down the hall. It was all so annoyingly quiet and only made the people sitting there waiting even more worried than they were before.

Shaking ever so slightly and letting his legs move up and down rapidly, Izaya's crimson red eyes continued to flicker around in the room he was sitting in. His brows were slightly furrowed and anyone around him would be able to see that he really was worried, even though he would never in his life admit it. Orihara Izaya wasn't worried about anyone. Especially not the monster.

It was that feeling that made him feel all human; worried. He had no idea why and he didn't want o find out. He would much rather get away from this feeling and return to his normal self. If only he knew how...

Just right next to him, the headless rider stood and, in her own headless way, she had an extremely worried 'expression' in her 'face'. The atmosphere around them sure was worried and anyone would notice that just by a single look on them.

Celty fidgeted with her hands, trying to find some way to calm the obviously worried informant sitting down on the couch in the living room. She really wanted to help him but knowing there probably wouldn't be anything to do, she quickly gave up.

It felt like hours, maybe even days, before a squeaking sound from the hallway, a sound of a door open up, could just slightly be heard in the living room. It made Izaya jump up from the spot on the couch he had been sitting on. He quickly turned to look who made those almost silent footsteps. Even though he knew it was impossible, he was hoping to see blonde hair turning the corner in a few seconds. Of course, it wasn't.

As Shinra turned the corner to enter the living room, he immediately notice the both worried and somewhat disappointed clouding the informant's pale face. To not worry the man even more, he quickly pulled the blood covered gloves off his hands and threw them away, down the trashcan just next to him. He then sighed and turned to both of the people, who both looked so impatient even though one of them was headless.

"I did everything I could to make him... come back." He paused and lowered his head, sighing slightly. "Sadly, I had to do surgery and I found the bullet. As expected it did hit Shizuo-kun's heart, which is the reason he is in this condition. I managed to get the bullet out, but...-"

"Shinra! Just get to the point already!"

Izaya was starting to get extremely impatient and he did not like where the underground doctor's words were heading. He hated feeling so worried for a man he hated so much. The waiting and the constant worrying made him feel all sick and... human. He was sick of feeling this way.

Shinra slowly lifted his head to look up at the impatient raven. He knew how he made it sound. He made it sound like the blonde was dead. He thought for a second to let the informant think that way but one way or another, the man would find out about the truth and hunt him down.

"He's alive. However... his condition is critical and I can't tell you how long he is going to live, not even if he is going to survive."

Izaya felt himself frown slightly. If anyone asked why, he would lie and tell them it was because he wasn't the one to kill the monster. He lowered his head shortly, but quickly looked back at the doctor, a serious mine on his face now.

"Is he awake? Can I go see him?"

Shinra sighed and turned to glance towards the closed door that led into the patient room. He knew he couldn't hold the informant back from seeing the blonde, no matter what. So he just gave up.

"He's not awake but you can go see him. I will stay here with Celty, so you can be alone with him. But... if you do anything to him, anything at all that would shorten his life... I'm afraid I will have to kick you out, Izaya-kun."

Izaya laughed lightly and shook his head. He didn't say anything as he walked around the brunette and almost ran down to the closed door further down the hallway. He hesitated a moment or so, imagining the room filled with blood from the surgery, a dead monster lying in an awkward position, like he was in pain, and the heart monitor making an annoying long beep.

He quickly forced that image out of his head, though. Something was definitely wrong with him. He was starting to become more and more like a human. First he was worried and now paranoid? This was definitely not like him – not like him at all.

Pressing the handle down, he slowly pushed the slightly heavy door open, a low squeaking sound coming from the door. He entered the room after another short second of hesitating, his crimson red eyes quickly coming to lock on the almost lifeless blonde lying on the bed in the one corner of the small room. He let the door close behind him and he slowly walked up close to the man.

Shizuo looked to be lifeless, like all life was sucked out of him at once. His face was paler than it should be possible and small sweat drops showing on his forehead showed he was in a lot of pain. It was not like the monster of Ikebukuro to be in this much pain. But nothing had ever hit his heart before and it send his body over it's limit. His body simply couldn't handle that much pain.

The only sign of the man's life was the heart monitor that slowly beeped. Luckily, the speed of the beeping had increased after the bullet had been removed, creating space for the heart to beat normally once again. But the rhythm was still slightly weird. The monster was definitely not going back to his normal self for quite a while.

Izaya slowly brushed the bleached blonde hair away from the pale forehead and the closed mocha like eyes. He quickly noticed how the eyebrows were furrowed in pain, how the pained expression on the man's face only got worse and worse for every minute. He started to wonder; could the monster feel him there? Was he able to get that anger and hatred up even though he wasn't present at all?

"Shizu-chan...?"

His voice was lowered to a soft whisper. He didn't expect an answer and he didn't get one either. Sighing, he glanced down at the tightly clenched fist resting down on the bed. At least it only showed that the blonde was alive but in terrible pain. And the informant could do nothing but to stand and watch while all of this happened.

Looking down at the pained monster, he slowly let his one hand go down and rest on the tightly clenched fist. It was the least thing he could do, even though he would never in his life admit how worried and for some reason incredibly sad he was about this situation.

Izaya's eyes widened slowly when he noticed how the blonde's eyes suddenly started to move slightly, as if they were about to open. He thought about running for a second... until the watched how Shizuo's eyes slowly opened and looked blankly up at him.

Mocha like eyes meeting with crimson red ones.

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><p><strong>AN**: Sorry for the late update. Remember to review! ^^


	5. Pain

The heart monitor beeped slow but in a somewhat regular rhythm. The face was pale, the whole body was just lying there, weak and motionless, while mocha like eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling high above. He felt a pair of glove covered fingers being placed on his neck, checking his pulse, and he felt things, needles and whatever, being attached or removed on him. His mind was blank, not a single thought was allowed to enter. He felt so weak, so ridiculously weak. How did it come to this?

Shizuo couldn't move his gaze away from the ceiling above him. He could if he wanted to, that was. But he felt slightly uncomfortable being watched by the raven haired, who was leaning up against the wall to his right, arms crossed and crimson red eyes locked on him. And it only made it worse, that the underground doctor was checking him pretty much all over his bare torso.

The white shirt he wore had been opened to let the brunette listen to his heart better. Not that he minded it, it was only uncomfortable having to be watched by the man he hated more than anything and anyone. Why was that man even here to begin with?

Shinra attached the last needle to the man's right forearm and placed tape over it, just so it wouldn't get out any time soon. He leaned slightly back while he removed the white gloves from his hands and he turned his gaze down at the pale man lying on the bed.

"Alright. Your heart has gotten better. It's a miracle but I doubt you will be able to move or function normally any time soon. I'll have to keep you here until I'm sure you can take care of yourself. Right now, you just need to rest."

A silence came up in the room the second the underground doctor stopped talking. He glanced shortly over at the informant, who was just standing there, watching, before he turned his gaze back down at the blonde.

"Shizuo... can you hear me?"

The only response he got was a slow blink. Not a single word. He sighed slightly. Even if everything looked to be at least a bit better, something was horribly wrong. He just wished he knew what to do about it. But there was nothing he could. At least not at the moment.

Shaking his head shortly, Shinra turned around and walked to the door. He opened it slowly, trying not to make a single squeaking sound even though it was rather impossible. He gave the informant a short glance, before he left the patient room, leaving the two alone and closing the door after him.

Izaya didn't move for a few moments, only stared at the pale and unmoving man on the bed. He really shouldn't care about this man, but for some reason he just did. And he was determined to find out why so he could stop himself from feeling this way.

Leaning slightly forward, he finally left the wall and uncrossed his arms, as he silently walked over to the bed. Without even asking for permission, he quietly sat down on the chair next to the man, his crimson red eyes never leaving that pale face and those blank mocha like eyes, even though they didn't look back at him.

"Shizu-chan..."

It wasn't one second after the informant's single word, that those blank eyes rolled over to the side and locked at the raven, narrowing slightly down to make his gaze a slight and weak glare. Shizuo's head didn't move. It was only his eyes that moved. Even if he wanted to move anything, he couldn't make his body move a single limp. His body wasn't working with him or functioned how it used to.

Crimson red eyes met with mocha colored ones. Izaya couldn't look away. Never had he seen the monster this weak, not even able to move anything other than his eyes. He didn't know if he found it hilarious, amusing or... worrying. He could see from the corner of his eyes how the still bare chest slowly moved up and down, slower than any normal man would breathe.

"I see you respond now. That must mean you can hear me. Or is it because I stink so much, just like you always say? I doubt it. Why would you look at me but not at Shinra?"

As expected, he didn't get a response. Only weakly glaring and blank mocha eyes. That was all. Any kind of movement was gone yet again. He shook his head shortly and hesitantly moved his one small hand up on the bed, sliding it slowly towards the bigger one just lying there. If the man couldn't move, he would be able to do anything about it, right? As their hands touched, he could feel the glare become slightly more aggressive but the anger and power in the monster's eyes were weak and almost unnoticeable.

There was a long and awkward silence between them, the smaller hand rested inside the bigger and slightly cold one. A slight cough came from the back of the blonde's throat, before he tried to speak.

"Why... are you even here... flea..?"

Shizuo's voice was weak, just like everything else about him at the moment, and it was lowered to a whisper. Maybe his lungs were damaged by the shot as well. Who knew. Something else might have been wrong this man. Not even the underground doctor could know every single thing that was wrong, nor fix it if he knew.

Crimson red eyes widened slightly as Izaya heard the weak voice leaving the blonde's lips. But now he was starting to wonder: was the heart the only thing damaged? A faked grin slowly curled lightly up on his pale face. He was relieved for some reason, even though he hated this man.

"Who knows? I just heard on the street, that you had been shot and hadn't been out for days. So I, of course, had to check if that was true. Obviously, you're not dead though."

He stopped talking, not sure what to say next. It was odd, strange. He always knew what to say and now... he was almost speechless. Maybe because he had never been in a situation like this with the usual strong monster, who only wanted to kill him and nothing else.

An awkward silence appeared between the two. The blonde slowly moved his mocha like eyes back up to stare at the ceiling high above, not moving even an inch. He couldn't move anything, not even the hand that was holding the informant's smaller one.

The silence lasted for what felt like hours after hours, but only were a few. Until Shizuo coughed yet again, loudly and harshly. His hand with the smaller hand twitched slightly before closing around it and closing tightly. The coughing continued for several moments, until the point where anyone normal would be close to throwing up. Luckily, he wasn't.

Izaya frowned lightly and glanced shortly down at the hand that was tightly clenched around his own. He slowly pulled himself up to stand and looked down at the blonde, his facial expression obviously worried. Lightly placing one hand on the man's shoulder, he leaned slightly down, trying to make him at least open his eyes.

"Shizu-chan... Look at me. Or at least open your eyes."

Even if he tried to stay calm, he really wasn't. The coughing made him worry even more than he thought he ever could worry for anyone. And it only made him feel those feelings that made him feel more and more like a normal human. He wouldn't allow it to happen but right now, there was nothing to do about it.

Shizuo finally moved. But it was only to pull himself up in a sitting position with his legs pulled slightly up, his head lowered and his eyes closed tightly. His hand around the flea's tightened even more and the grip would hurt the hand eventually if not now.

The coughing continued in a louder level. The heart monitor's beeping slowly sped up and he was gasping for air between each cough. He could feel how he was shaking. Not from fear or being scared or anything, but from all the coughing. It only made it worse to have the man he hated watch him and that he was actually holding onto his hand.

It felt like forever before Shinra finally noticed the loud coughing and the increased speed of the heart monitor's beeping. He quickly gave the already nervous looking, in her own headless way, Celty a short glance and then quickly stormed towards the room, ready to help and do whatever he could.

Izaya lightly placed a hand on the monster's shoulder and gave the hand a tight squeeze. It didn't take him long to notice how the blonde was shaking and gasping for air in between the coughs. It worried him, worried him more than he thought was possible.

"_Shizu-chan_..."

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><p><strong>AN**: I really am sorry for the late updates. I just finished test exams but I still have _a lot_ going on in my life. Plus, I'm not feeling very well at the moment. Anyway; My updates will get slower from now on, since my RP is taking most of my time again. I will, however, write whenever I can.  
>Reviews makes me happy as hell! ^^<p> 


	6. Hurt

_Beeep... beeep... beeeep..._

Normally, people would go to a real hospital with good equipments and not just some underground doctor's place with equipments, that looked like they had been used for years without being replaced with new and better ones. But even because of that, it all worked how it should. It may be a little dusty and old but at least it was working.

The almost empty room was silent, except for a slow beeping sound from the machine attached to the pretty much dying man laying on the bed in the room. All other sounds were completely gone. The room wasn't big. Only just enough room for the bed, a few machines and a chair, yet still some space left for visitors, visitors that didn't exist for this man.

Everyone around him had left the room about an hour ago, just to give him some time to rest, some space to think. But honestly; the silence was killing him faster than the condition he was in. Time passed by so slow, that he thought it had been a day already when only one or two hours had passed. It was horrible and he could barely take it. Even the annoying flea had left him alone, left him without any company at all.

Amber eyes stared blankly at nothing particular. He listened to the slow beeping from the machine and felt his heart beat in his chest with it. If he had been able to move, he would've destroyed that machine already. Not only was it annoying as hell, but it also reminded him just how close he was to dying, how little time he might have left. And he couldn't stand thinking of that, couldn't stand thinking of a death such as this; alone, feared, having no one.

This wasn't like him. This wasn't like Heiwajima Shizuo, the monster of Ikebukuro who everyone feared and thought nothing could harm. And look at him now; laying in some underground doctor's patient room, just waiting for the end of his life, waiting for it all to finally be over.

And then finally, the silence was stopped by a squeaking sound from the door into the room being opened. He didn't look, but calm yet somehow slightly worried footsteps told him exactly who this person was, who it was that neared him slowly. If it had been the man he hated more than anything, he would've barely heard the footsteps. He knew that.

He saw a white gloved covered hand wave in front of his blank and barely blinking eyes, but he didn't do anything. He was just laying there, like the pretty much dead man he was. He heard his name leave the familiar brunette's lips but he didn't response in any way at all. Not even a single glance. He did nothing at all.

He was unable to move, unwilling to form any words. His face was pale, bleached blonde locks pushed away from the forehead to not fall down the blank staring eyes. To say it short; he wasn't present. He was aware of things happening around him, yet he wasn't.

Soon, he heard another pair of footsteps, footsteps he knew all too well. The way those feet moved elegantly across the floor, like they barely even touched the ground. The sound of shoes meeting the ground barely there. He knew exactly who it was but what could he do about it? Nothing.

He listened to that annoying voice, listened to the nickname he had been giving leave that man's lips, listened to how that usually confidence filled tone had fallen to something he thought was worry. Why was all he could think. Why would anyone be worried about him? Especially this man, who had been telling him to go die already, to die like the monster he was.

"Shizu-chan..."

The voice was distant, like it was miles and miles away. Just like everything was at the moment. Just like he was. He felt a familiar small hand be placed in his own bigger one, like it was telling him that he wasn't alone. But he didn't believe it. Not when it came from this man.

He listened to the first pair of footsteps walk out the room again, listened to the words there were being said yet he still didn't know what those two were trying, what they were trying to do when there was nothing to help him out of this. They should just leave him there, leave him there to die like the monster he was. Of course, all of these thoughts would forever be in his mind. Never in his life would he admit how scared he was of dying, how weak he felt and how much he hated this.

He heard a sound of wood against the hard floor, like a chair being moved. The sound got closer, telling him a chair was pushed close to the bed he was on. He felt that small and slightly shaking hand slowly wrap tighter around his, felt a somewhat worried gaze locked on him like glue. God, he hated this. Hated all the pity he was getting. This shouldn't be happening. This wasn't like him...

He heard word after word being formed by that irritating voice but he didn't catch how the words were linked. All he heard was words and that irritating voice. If he had been able to move, he would have pushed the man away from. Somehow, he still was. He wasn't communicating with him after all, refused to let him in and refused to talk or listen.

He knew that if he even as much as tried to talk, he would get a cough attack again, maybe the last thing he did. He could feel how weak his heart was, how weak his whole body was. And it didn't help that he thought he was a million times weaker than he actually was. He just wanted this to be over with, wanted to disappear once and for all.

The informant could do nothing than just talk. It was like the bodyguard was in a coma. He might as well be, since he wasn't responding to anything he tried. Izaya tried everything just to get some attention from the man, just to get a short glance or even one of those glares that told him to go die or go to hell. Anything. Just not this.

Of course, there was always one thing he hadn't tried yet, one thing that definitely would wake the man's attention. Either that or give him a heart attack. But that was not a thing he would even consider doing unless it was the last thing he could do, the last and only thing that could help this man. He wasn't sure why he was helping a man he claimed to hate, claimed to want gone and never before seemed to care about.

"Shizu-chan..."

He kept repeating that same word, that nickname every five minute, every time he felt the silence was getting awkward. He gave the beeping machine a short glance. How he hated that thing. It was nothing but a reminder how little life there was felt, how close this man, this monster, was to dying.

Nothing helped. He might as well just give up. This man was dying and all he could do was to sit there and wait with him. And for some unknown reason, he felt horrible about it.

Finally, there was a movement. But not one you would particularly like all that much. The smaller hand was forced out of the bigger, forced to let go. The larger and pretty much broken body slowly turned around, only to roll over to his side, his clothed back to the informant.

Shizuo hated pity, hated everything about it. He didn't need it, he didn't want it. He just wanted to be alone, even though he hated being with no one, being just himself. But what else could he do? All he could do was to wait for the end of it all. Never had he been feeling this way and it wasn't a feeling he wanted to have for much longer. He was sick of it, sick of not being able to do anything.

He just wanted it to end already...

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><p><strong>AN**: I'm sorry if this seems so damn depressing. I'm going through a lot of difficult things and I can't take them all. Thank you for reading and reviews always puts a smile on my face.


	7. Nursing

Time passed by so slowly. Minutes felt like hours, while hours felt like days. But even then, nothing really happened. Everything just stood still like everything had lost their ability to move or function, like everything had lost their meaning. It should be making sense in a situation like this but no one seemed to be able to find the meaning behind this thing, behind what was wrong with this man, this barely alive man currently stuck where he was, unable to move or do anything by himself.

Time just passed by like everything else. Daily check ups, attempt to get something down, trying to talk, etc. There was barely any food that went down, only milk and light drinks did. Not a word passed this man's lips for a long time. Once in a while, he would say one single word and that was it. This one word being "Bathroom" and then silence.

How long had it been now? Days, even weeks maybe. Rumors of the great Heiwajima Shizuo being erased from this planet had gone around everywhere. And seeing how the informant barely ever was out and if he was, he would wonder around on the streets of Ikebukuro, only to go to Shinjuku and back again into the underground doctor's place to stay there for hours after hours. No one ever found out why he had gone there and even stayed for so long. And no one had noticed how there hadn't been a funeral for the monster yet.

How long it had been, the bodyguard didn't know. He had lost track of time a long time ago and now only waited for this whole thing to end. Whether that meant he would get out alive or not, he didn't care. As long as he wouldn't stay this weak. He felt so unlike himself, felt like his whole world was crashing together just because of that one single bullet that had gone through him, damaged his heart – probably permanently.

One of those long and almost endless days, the underground doctor had a job out of the house, a job he needed to get done before it was too late. And since he really didn't want to leave the barely alive monster without someone to take care of him, he had begged the informant to stay and check up on him every once in a while. It had been surprisingly difficult to make him stay but he had managed to do so anyway.

The second they had been left alone in the big and now empty place, a silence fell upon them. Not a single sound was in the entire place. Except for one; the slow and really annoying beeping from the heart monitor in the patient room where the blonde monster was. Both of them hated listening to it, the blonde more than the raven. It was only a sign of how little life there was left in this man.

None of them did anything for a long time, a time that felt like forever. The raven haired male just sat on the couch and searched for information on his phone, while the blonde of them was just lying on the bed in the patient room, staring blankly at the wall before him and just waiting for time to pass by.

After what felt like hours, Izaya decided to do something about this damn silence in the whole place. With a heavy sigh, he pulled himself up from the couch and turned to walk down the hallway filled with pretty much empty patient rooms. He stopped dead in his tracks when he reached the only room with sounds coming from it, sounds of the beeping heart monitor which was the only thing making any kinds of sounds in the entire place.

His head slowly turned to the one side and his crimson eyes slowly trailed over to the only slightly opened door that would lead him into the room with the monster, his enemy who he shouldn't care so much about. It was all so strange, the way things had come to be, the way this whole situation had turned into one big mess that shouldn't have been there in the first place.

With a silent sigh slipping passed his pale lips, the informant slowly stepped forward and towards the door with the only company around. He lifted one of his small hands, only to place it on the door and pushed just enough pressure on it to slowly push the door open. It happened slowly and a short squeaking sound filled the silence in the place for just a moment, the sound making the blonde currently lying with his back to the other male snap out of his little world of nothing.

Shizuo didn't move, though. He was lying completely still with his back turned to the informant who had now entered the patient room he was forced to be stuck in. Even when he heard the footsteps from the other man's shoes didn't he do anything. He barely even moved. The only thing that showed he was still alive, was the almost not noticeable movement up and down when he breathed and the annoying beeping from the machine he was stuck to be attached to.

His face was completely pale, not a single emotion showed on it. He didn't even bother doing something like that anymore. What was the point? He was already dead after all. Unless some sort of miracle happened, he wouldn't be able to hold himself alive for all that much longer. And that only bothered and annoyed him more than anything. He was so fucking weak and it bothered him how he couldn't just keep fighting until he got better.

Izaya didn't move either for what felt like forever, drawing the silence out even longer. He really had no idea what the hell he was supposed to be doing when the man he was supposed to take care of didn't even want his help. He couldn't do anything than just look after him. That was all and he felt so useless, so worthless for now. Those thoughts quickly got pushed out of his head. He couldn't think that. Not him.

With a heavy yet somewhat silent sigh pass his slightly parted lips, he stepped over to the chair only a bit away from the bed that looked more like a table with simple bed things on it, like a blanket and a pillow. It honestly didn't look all that comfortable but the monster didn't seem to be complaining about it.

The informant slowly pulled himself down to sit on the chair, his gaze never leaving the other man's back, which was the only thing of him he could see right now. That and the back of that blonde head. The silence didn't stop there, though. It continued for several minutes yet. Right until a heavy and somewhat annoyed sigh passed the raven haired man's lips.

"Come on, Shizu-chan. Are you just going to be like that for the rest of your life? It's not like you have long to live anyway, so why waste it lying on this... bed or table or whatever it is? Where's the fun in that, huh?"

He tried to chuckle in the way he always did. But he just couldn't. Not with the mood being like this, so depressing. He didn't get a response. Not even a single movement. It was almost like the monster had fallen asleep or into a coma but he knew he wasn't. Slowly, he pulled himself up from the chair and stepped closer to the one side of the bed, letting his one small hand rest on the edge of the bed just a bit.

Finally, there was a movement. It wasn't much but it was at least something. Shizuo slowly shifted to roll over on his back instead of lying on his side. Not once did his gaze shift over to the man standing next to him. No. He just moved his gaze from the wall beside him to the ceiling above him. He hated showing his weak side to anyone and it didn't help that he now showed it to the man he hated more than anything on this damn planet called Earth.

Izaya parted his lips just enough to say something but not a single word passed his now slightly parted lips. He kept his mouth opened for just a moment or two, before he closed it again, letting his almost dry lips meet once again as he let the silence come upon them once again, this time even more awkward than it had been before.

An unknown length of time passed them. It could have been hours or merely just minutes before one of them did something again, the one of them that actually wanted to move and do something about this awkward and horrible silence that had grown upon them longer than he would have liked.

Slowly, the informant's one small hand moved over the sheets on the bed until his fingertips touched cold skin, cold skin that was the monster's bigger hand. He took the chance he had and moved his own hand into the bigger one. Why he kept doing such a thing, he didn't even know himself.

Shizuo's eyes slowly narrowed down to a glare, a glare that quickly moved over to the man currently holding his hand. The glare was weak as always. He didn't have enough strength to make it intense or even sharp at all. And he was too weak to push the smaller hand out of his own.

"Why the hell are you holding my hand, flea? And why the hell are you still here? Go away! I'll be fine on my own!"

Even when his voice raised to a yell, it was more like a loud whisper than anything of a yell. But it was just enough to make the other man pull his hand back and out of the bigger one, taking a step back to create some distance between them.

Izaya stared down at the weakly glaring bodyguard currently on the bed, trying to intimidate him as much as possible. But it didn't work at all. He swallowed slightly, his raven colored brows furrowing just slightly in worry, even though he would have said it was more frustration than worry.

"Whatever makes you calm down, Shizu-chan. I know you won't be fine, though. You barely have enough strength to give me the usual look filled with hatred. But if you want me to leave, fine. I can't stand listening to that stupid machine anymore anyway."

He slowly turned around and took the few steps it took for him to make it to the door that would lead him out of the patient room, the only room with somewhat life in it. Before he made it out of the door, only grabbing around the handle to close it, he turned around to face the blonde man glaring weakly at him, ready to give him the line he wanted to say but didn't mean any of.

"A horrible monster like you shouldn't be allowed to live anyway."

With that being said, the door got slammed shut and yet another silence fell upon the entire place.

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><p><strong>AN**: Sorry for the late update. Life is not easy for me and I get easily distracted from writing, distracted to tumblr. Yeah, I RP on tumblr too, as Shizuo. Which has nothing to do with this. Anyway; thank you for reading and don't forget to leave a review.


	8. End It

_Monster – horrible – freak – inhuman – die – **MONSTER**._

Words like that continued to play inside his head, over and over again like a broken record that kept playing the same song over and over again. He couldn't get those words out of his head and it annoyed him more than it probably should. He didn't know what the hell was wrong with him. It was just a damn bullet that nearly killed him, not a head injury. Then why did he act like this – so much unlike himself? It didn't make any sense at all.

And honestly, he just wanted it to end already. The suffering his own thoughts gave, the pain he felt shooting out through his whole body whenever he moved even a little bit. Never had he felt this bad and never was he going to either. This would be the last time something like this would ever happen. He would personally make sure of that.

He knew how to do it and what needed to be done to get this over with. But one thing he also knew, was that he wouldn't be able to do it himself. He knew he wouldn't be able to get a hold on the things he needed to do what he planned and there was no way in hell any of the people watching over him would let him get something like that. Especially not the headless rider and the underground doctor.

When it came to the informant, he knew that man would do whatever it took to end his life just as much as he himself wanted it to end. But when he thought about it, the man seemed to have changed when he found out about these things that was going on, the disappearance of the monster of Ikebukuro, the man who no weapon could kill... no known weapon, that was.

No gun had been able to penetrate through his heart. Even if this one had been way too close to killing him, he had only just damaged his heart a bit, making him unable to breath for himself without a machine or gas mask to help him catch his breath again. That was one of the many thousands of things that annoyed him so damn much about this whole situation.

He could have been lying there for hours or even days – even though that didn't seem very likely – before he heard footsteps getting closer and closer to the room he had been forced to get stuck in for quiet a while now. He knew who it was and knew what was going to happen but he didn't bother doing anything about it. What could he do anyway?

He felt something he never had felt before and never thought he would ever feel. Almost like something was building inside his stomach, like a knot that wouldn't get out. The hell was this feeling? It was uncomfortable and he wanted it gone but he didn't even bother doing anything about it and just let it be like that.

Shizuo heard the footsteps stop suddenly and he assumed the person who had dared to near the monster's cage stopped just to look in at him. He knew who it was and he could almost see that Cheshire cat like grin spreading over that pale face.

But he didn't know that the raven haired man actually looked a bit sad when he saw how he was lying there, back to the door and almost looking lifeless. The only thing that showed the monster was alive was the slow beeping from the machine the man had been attached to, both to show he was alive and to actually keep him alive.

Izaya stood there, leaned up against the frame of the door with his arms crossed over his clothed chest. And he simply just watched the now former bodyguard lie there, weak and almost lifeless. It was horrible seeing his worst enemy like this and yet he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. Not to end the misery nor to make them better somehow.

After taking a deep breath in, he finally pulled himself together and walked into the room, noticing how the blond suddenly started to shake. Or maybe he had done it before too and he just didn't notice. He didn't know why and he would find out about that sooner or later.

He only stopped walking when he was right next to the bed the blond was lying on and he finally managed to put on his own facade again, the facade of him not even being anywhere near worried.

"Ne, Shizu-chan... Are you gonna lie there for the rest of your life - what's left of it, that is – or are you actually going to try and get better?"

He didn't get an answer and it made him furrow his thin raven colored brows slightly more. So without hesitating for even a single second, he grabbed around the other man's shoulder and quickly forced him to roll around even if it hurt him in any way.

"Oi, Shizu-cha-..."

He stopped immediately when his eyes fell down on the man's face and every emotion he felt before was replaced with surprise of this man's face.

The blond was... crying?

The monster of Ikebukuro – the immortal monster – was actually crying?

It didn't make any sense what so ever. But seeing those tears roll down this man's face, Izaya couldn't help but let his heart almost sink. This wasn't fair. This wasn't like the Shizuo he knew and hated. This wasn't real. This had to be one big fucking nightmare. It couldn't be real. He wouldn't believe it.

Even though tears were making their way down his cheeks, falling from his blank amber eyes, Shizuo let the corners of his lips slowly tug back into a weak smile as he reached forward to grab around the informant's hand, holding a tight yet still weak grip around it.

He knew what he had to do, knew what was needed in this situation.

And then he spoke. His voice was lowered and the tone weak just like before, almost a harsh whisper that made Izaya's eyes almost tear up.

"Kill me..."

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><p><strong>AN**: OMG, so sorry for very late update. And well, for the depressed mess this has turned to. Also sorry for it being so short. I will try to make the next one longer and will work harder to actually get it updated more often. But you see... life just isn't easy. Alright, thank you for sticking with me and reviews are loved very much.


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